What Do You Do With Failure?

Redemption piece in process

Yesterday I failed. My inability to understand what a client wanted trumped the several earnest attempts I made to meet the objectives and goals described. Nine hours in, I made the call to quit. I was simply unable to see what I was doing wrong. I began to realize that I'd never understand his vision and what I was supposed to do. I admitted defeat.  I admitted that the task exceeded my skill set. It was embarrassing for me, irritating and disappointing to him. And he let me know that. I apologized.

SO. Today is a new day, n'est ce pas? Mais, non. I awoke with a killer emotional hangover - the incident consuming my thoughts, boring a hole in my stomach. I prayed. I talked with people who love me. I did all of the stuff that I know usually works when trying to get my mind off something that makes me feel sad, mad, bad, and inadequate. Then I reflected on something that I truly believe. Art heals. Creativity helps.

I began a "Redemption" painting. I have done this in the past to great effect. It helped. As I wrote my thoughts on canvas, I began to get some objectivity and by the last few inches of space, I had the lesson. AT LEAST I FAILED TRYING. I took a risk. I didn't mean to misrepresent myself or deceive anyone. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. At least I tried. That's the kind of person I want to be. I can't wait for perfection. I work with what I have and who I am now. I'm going to fail. To disappoint.

Now I have a big canvas with black and red writing on it. Time to paint. I can be free with a Redemption piece because anything I do is going to make it more beautiful than what I have on it now! Isn't that great? Washing beautiful color over the stark text is meditative and soothing. Tension ebbs. Spirits rise. Even if the finished piece is not wall worthy, the process of covering a stark failure with gorgeous sweeps of color is worth everything.

What do you do when you fail? What do you do with disappointment? Once the initial finger pointing and blame game is over and you leave the table with your "winnings", your part of what went wrong, what do you do with it? How do you let go? How do you move on? It's easier to say, "Be gentle with yourself" or "At least I tried" than it is to actually take hold and believe those statements.

Try a redemption piece. Put it all on paper or canvas. Then cover it with images and colors that please you, that you find beautiful. Use collage, paint, paper, pencils, crayon or all of the above. Don't focus on the result. Your transformation comes during the process.

August Dates and Hours

Using Themes to Spark Your Creative Engine

 A theme is an idea that acts as a giant bouncy springboard to creativity! Here's a glimpse into the process of how having the discipline of a theme triggers creativity. Try it!

1.Pick your theme, word, idea. Let's pick "reflection." Define it.

Reflection (the noun): the image of something in a mirror or on any reflective surface

Example: In Greek mythology, Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water.

Reflection (the verb) : to think carefully, especially about possibilities and opinions

Example: She reflected that this was probably the last time she would see him.

 2.Pick the creative medium of your choice. Fr'instance: pencil and paper for writing or for drawing, wire and beads for jewelry, paint, collage materials, the musical scale and your piano or guitar, some dance steps, your camera, cooking ingredients, fabric, clay.....

3. Ponder: What about the word "reflection" jumps out at you? (Justine is being inspired by the shiny light of mirrors - can't wait to see her take on this idea) Anyway. How can you communicate that idea and feeling through your chosen medium? Give it a try. 

4. Important: Don't toss your "mistakes." SERIOUSLY. Your first attempts often contain the freshest, strongest reaction to the theme. Also, early work is honorable and brave; not to be minimized or hidden away like an unattractive photo you'd like to forget. No one would be anywhere without their first try. This is especially important for you writers out there. "Word processing" makes deleting and backspacing too easy. If you usually write on your laptop, write in a journal for the rest of the summer. Outside even. With the physical tools used by writers since time immemorial. Even a Hemingway-esque Underwood typewriter leaves sheaves and sheaves of proof that words were typed. Some embarrassingly melodramatic, some restrained and sublime. Keep it all.

Summer Concert Series Thursday, July 28th LAARKS 6:30pm Phoenix Park

Sounds Like Summer Concert Series: Laarks + Do It Yourself Daisy + Wisconsin Built

Join your family, friends, and neighbors on the grass and giant rocks at the Phoenix Park labyrinth for a concert with the Chippewa River and evening sunset as the backdrop. Bring a blanket, some snacks or beverages, and enjoy the local scene and sounds. Wisconsin Built plays a pre-show set at 6pm.

FREE

all ages

volumeone.org

Full Disclosure: The Laarks frontman, composer, keyboards player & singer extraordinaire, Ian Jacoby is quite a favorite here at The Market. Although we'd still listen to An Exaltation of LAARKS constantly even if Ian wasn't Susan's son. Their eagerly anticipated second CD will be released Spring of 2012!

Buy "An Exaltation of Laarks" on Amazon here  or on iTunes here!

May You Never - John Martyn

Every once in awhile, the creative temperament skews nearer to fragile genius than it does to inspired, practical innovator. We have times of discouragement. We doubt the value of our work. We may be misunderstood. We experience setbacks due to circumstances beyond our control. 

One of my favorite musicians is John Martyn.  Eric Clapton once said (John is) "so far ahead of everything, it's almost inconceivable." In this video he is, to me, achieving musical perfection. I love his joyful, "Take it to church!" a generous gesture to his band mates that he wants them to shine and play on. Notice the way Kathy Mattea looks at John during the song - eyes shining with admiration and love. At the very end, her incredulity at what they just experienced is so joyful. I hope John noticed. I hope he knew how incredible everyone thought he was before he died.

I hope you know how incredible YOU are. While you are doing what you were put on this earth to do, I can guarantee you that some one is being encouraged and amazed by you, their eyes shining with admiration and love. That's just how it is when we live authentically and generously.

Message from The Market: Do You Need Pruning?

"Old Blue" in all her pruned, fruitful glory

If you grew up in the '70s, you probably heard the Byrds cover of "Turn, Turn, Turn." The song was written by Pete Seeger, lyrics from the Book of Ecclesiastes. It seemed every wedding I went to as a child had this song sung during the ceremony. I was unimpressed. A time for planting, laughing, weeping, nothing at all about a wedding. Except maybe the "time for embracing" part. Boring. How about something creative, even surprising? "You Sexy Thing," for example. " I believe in Malcolm! Way from, you sexy thing, you sexy thing, you!" Those are the lyrics, right? You do believe in Malcolm, don't you?

Well, the "to every thing there is a season" concept that I took to be a yawn-fest as a child, has become a cornerstone of my adult life and decision making. Things change. We change. What worked before may not work quite as well now. Relationships we thought we'd die without, are just not as central any longer. It's tempting to feel guilty and think, "What am I doing wrong? Why am I feeling restless and unsatisfied?" You probably aren't doing anything wrong. You might just need a pruning. 

Pruning is essential for a full, healthy plant and a full healthy life. Like Pete Seeger, I borrow heavily from God with this analogy, but I believe there is wisdom to be found in the pruning concept no matter what your beliefs or spiritual inclinations. So, instead of the vine and branches, there is a blueberry bush in this story. I'll try to be brief.

Once upon a time there was a blueberry bush at my childhood home....blah, blah, blah...parents moving, blah,blah,blah..... "over my dead body" blah, blah, blah ....rope around bush attached to Suburban, blah, blah, blah....we have a "new" blueberry bush! With sentimental value! Emphasis on the 'mental'!

With so much invested in this dang bush's existence, I am loathe to cut ANYTHING off at ANY TIME. I have nurtured this baby. Miraculously, it bore many blueberries almost immediately. But, as the years went on,  I noticed the blueberries getting tinier and tinier. They looked like little American Girl Doll berries. I kidded myself, "Wow, look at all the concentrated flavor, ( imagining the shrinking process just like  the freeze drying process?) you don't find these at any old grocery store!" The truth was, the berries weren't extra delicious. They were, however, so painstaking to harvest that, for a year or two, Old Blue was little more than a landscape plant. Deep down, I knew what the bush needed, but I pushed those thoughts away. I avoided pruning by upping the fertilizing and watering. I think Kubler-Ross would call this "SUBCONSCIOUSDENIALBARGAINING."

You know where this is going. Berry research was done. Opinions were sought. Pruning did occur. And the bush bore-eth a multitude of large, delicious fruit and lo, it was good.

In this story, we want to emulate Old Blue, not the deluded, enabling gardener. Actually, let's be Blue with a mindful, caring gardener who has Blue's best interests at heart. Here are some thoughts and questions to assist you in determining if pruning is needed and which branches, once removed, set you free to move forward and be more of who you are truly meant to be.

List any obligations, activities or commitments you dread or find dissatisfying. Have you always felt this way?

If you answer "yes" but the obligation is a normal part of being a grown up (like laundry, feeding your children or paying bills) star those items as "non-negotiables." Give yourself a pat on the back for being a responsible citizen and good neighbor. Smile at yourself in the mirror and say, " Wow, these things are a drag but it's good to do the right thing."

If you answer "yes", and the thing isn't essential, then It could be you have entered into this obligation for the wrong reason(s). The joy of approval and the novelty of new activity quickly feels wrong if we said "yes" for the wrong reasons.Here are some reasons we say "yes" to things that aren't in our best interests:

-wanting to please the person asking/inviting      

-wanting to escape the "non-negotiables"

-fear we may never get another opportunity that is better suited to us

-pride because we are flattered and want the prestige afforded by our role

-Do any of these ring true? What other forces may have influenced your "yes"?

Identifying these things and being humble enough to admit we may have been mistaken is HUGE and wonderful. Well done! Begin your exit strategy....(cue sound of pruners being sharpened).

If no, I haven't always been dissatisfied with this thing, what changed? Examples: my goals/priorities have changed, I have new interests that keep pulling me away, I gave myself a pass to not do this, but now I want to step it up, etc.

 

If you're not sure what changed, ask yourself, when did it change? Examples: After a loss or life change? As a loss or life change was about to occur? After an argument or misunderstanding? Because of health issues?

Is it my attitude/way of thinking that needs changing or is the needed change external? 

If your answer is "I'm the one who has changed, and not for the better" what needs to happen in order for you to be happy again? Examples:  I'd like to forgive and forget, agree to disagree, lower my expectations of myself and others, stop the negative self talk,etc.

If the change needed is external, either begin mapping out an exit strategy or TAKE A RISK and begin this new change! Try to be direct, honest and gentle with yourself. Respect any others involved by giving them room to adjust, permission to have their own feelings about your decisions.

Throughout the pruning process, take a step or two back to see the big picture and how these changes will fit with the overall plan and purpose of your life. Taking time to consider what needs to be done at this particular time will enable you to avoid the impulsive, rash actions of one so uncomfortable with their dread and restlessness that any change is seen as relief. "Not so!" says the voice of Experience! Effective pruning is deliberate, gentle, and timely. It is done for the benefit of the whole organism, freeing it to grow wild, wonderful, and beyond anyone's expectations.

Inside The Market

"Still Life with Market Wares" Justine's incredible bags made from vintage grain sacks and canvas; furniture, accessories, jewelry, oil paintings, collage, pottery, &  Diet Coke can.

We're working on some really special things for August, and  SUPER amazing things for our Grand Opening in September! One studio at Banbury that will be open on Market days is Zodiac Productions. It was great to meet talented local glass artist D.J. Stewart.  I hope to convince the guys to do some glass blowing demonstrations for the "Back to Cool" market September 8-10. Our neighbors from The Cello Connection will delight visitors with beautiful cello music (more details to follow) and we plan on having lots of fun and interesting things for the whole family as The Market helps you get "Back to COOL!"

Shady Lady in Vintage Hearts T & apron